Babysitting Harry
by Meliantha
Summary: Lily and James are going to a party, it's the night before the full moon, so Sirius is stuck babysitting baby Harry. Rating for mild language.


Author's Note: I was looking at a lovely little piece of fanart in the middle of algebra, when this piece of inspiration popped into my head, and I had no paper! If anyone has any better ideas for a title, please tell me in your review. That is, if you do review. Which you should do, because all good readers review fics. HTML is being awfully mean, so:

/myah/ = italics

'myah' = thought

*~* = scene change  
  
Disclaimer: I own Aracelis Nyx and this plot line. Maybe not even this plot line. Cassie belongs to Cassie Lupin. Everything else is J.K. Rowling's.  
  


A Babysitter for Harry  
  


"Lily, look what I got in the mail!" James called.

Lily entered the study, Harry against her hip. "What is it?" she asked.

"It's an invitation," James replied, opening the envelope and withdrawing the letter.   
  


" 'The Nyxs cordially invite you to a dinner party. Entertainment will 

be provided. Dress: Formal.' "  
  


James looked up. "You wanna go?"

Lily glowered at him indignantly. "James, we have a baby to look after."

His face fell. "Well, couldn't you hire a babysitter?"

"You know very well it's the night before the full moon. Remus won't be able to watch anybody."

"Who says Remus has to babysit? I'm sure Sirius is just as capable."

"Sirius?!" Lily exclaimed disbelievingly. "You /must/ be joking. He can't tell a baby from a doll!"

James grimaced. "Aw, come on, Lily! Harry'll be alright..."

"No."

Suddenly, James was right in her face, his eyes large and watery. "James, the face is not going to work on me."

He decided to try a different tactic. "If we don't go, I'm going to keep bugging you until we do."

"I'm a /mother/. I can handle it."

"Lily..." James whined.

Lily shook her head. "Don't you 'Lily' me, young man. We are not going, and that's final."

"I'll buy you some new jewelry..."

"No."

"That amulet you've been wanting."

Lily faltered. James sensed her defenses were weakening.

"And those lovely emerald robes you keep sighing over."

Lily would've thrown up her hands if she hadn't been holding Harry. "Ooh, I give in!" She held her finger so close to James's face that she could gouge out his eye. "But this is the /last/ time I allow Sirius to babysit."

James nodded happily. She let out a defeated sigh. "I'll go get dressed. You go get Sirius."

As Lily headed up the stairs along with her child, James went to the fireplace to contact Harry's new babysitter.  
  
*~*

  
  


Sirius was just about to head out the door when the fireplace flared to life. He whipped around to discover James's head floating amongst the flames.

The young man jumped in surprise, though seeing someone's head bobbing up and down in a fireplace should've seemed perfectly normal to him. "James? What do you want? I was just about to go out for a ride on my motorcycle."

"Sorry to dump this on you, but I have a favor to ask."

Sirius plopped down into and armchair. "You know I'm happy to do anything for my buddies."

James winced. "Uh, well, me and Lily are going to a party and..."

Sirius felt the tiny inkling of a suspicion forming in his mind, which he immediately suppressed. "And...?"

"And I need you to babysit Harry."

"What?!" Sirius leapt to his feet so swiftly that he knocked the armchair over. "You expect me to babysit? I can't tell a baby from a doll!"

James chuckled. "That's exactly what Lily said." His expression sobered. "But, really, Sirius, please? You know Remus is unavailable, Aracelis's family is hosting, Cassie is who knows where, and so you're the only one I can turn to."

"Wait a minute...Aracelis's family is hosting?" Sirius asked. James nodded. "Then why wasn't I invited?"

"You know Celi's parents don't approve of you. Besides, you have a reputation for causing havoc at parties," James answered.

"So do you," Sirius pointed out. He meant to fall back into his chair haughtily, but, seeing as he had knocked the armchair over, he instead fell to the ground next to it. James laughed as Sirius stood and brushed himself off, grinning. "Right. I meant to do that."

He ran his hand through his hair. "Alright, alright," he conceded. "I'll be there before you can say 'Enjo Glove'."

"Thanks, Sirius," James called as Sirius opened the door.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," he muttered, and closed the door behind him. With a poof, James's head vanished from the fireplace, and the flames slowly died out.

*~*  
  
Lily glided back down the stairs, wearing amethyst-colored dress robes with gold trim. She had on a pair of lion-shaped gold earrings, and part of her hair was clipped up with a swirling gold and violet beret.

"Harry's in the crib," she said as she stepped down from the last step.

James smiled. "You look ravishing, my darling." Lily rolled her eyes.

"I can't say the same for you, Soot-Man." She brushed some of the soot off his shoulder.

"Okay, I'll go change." James climbed up the stairs. "Oh, and Sirius is on his way. We'll probably be gone by the time he gets here, so leave him a note."

Lily tossed her hair behind her shoulder and shook her head slightly. 'I'm not too sure about this...'  
  
*~*

  
  


Sirius pulled off his helmet and slipped from his motorbike. He pushed open the door to find himself standing in an empty house.

"Damn," he commented. "Not only do they ask me to babysit, they don't even stick around to give me instructions. Hell, I don't even know where the damn kid is."

He wandered through the house in search of some form of instructions. When he stepped into the kitchen, he discovered a piece of bright yellow parchment. Sirius read it aloud:  
  


" 'Sorry to burden you like this, Sirius, but it was only polite for us to 

attend this party. Not that we don't want to see Celi again, but now we

have Harry to care for. Anyway, we would've gotten someone else to 

watch Harry, but, frankly, there was no one else. 

" 'There are several bottles in the fridge and some baby foods in the

pantry. In the closet are some fresh diapers. In case of emergency, the address to

reach the Luxs's is on the mantlepiece, next to the photo of James's and my wedding. 

Good luck! Oh, and don't break anything, please. 

Love,

Lily  
  


Sirius dragged his hand down his face. "Why me?" he moaned. He glanced at the note again. "Hey, there's a P.S."  
  
" 'P.S. Harry is upstairs in his crib. The nursery is right next to our bedroom.' "  
  


"At least I know where the baby is," Sirius said in a dead tone.

"I could be taking my motorcycle for a spin," he muttered as he climbed up the stairs. "But /noo/, I had to come and babysit." 

Finally, he found the nursery. The crib sat on the right of the room, a music box tinkling out a melody. Gathering his courage, Sirius strode to the crib.

A round, smiling face beamed up at him, eyes wide. "Hello," Sirius said. The baby giggled and extended his hands to Sirius. "What, you want me to pick you up?" He looked at Harry as if he were insane. "Are you sure?" Harry's face screwed up, ready to let loose a torrent of tears. Sirius hastily picked the baby up, but Harry instantaneously began to bawl.

In his shock, Sirius dropped him, causing Harry's shrieks to raise an octave.

Sirius cursed aloud, and awkwardly picked the baby back up before dashing down the stairs. He dumped the child on the counter and frantically began searching the drawers for something to quiet the unbearable screeching. When he found nothing, Sirius threw open the refrigerator and grabbed one of the multiple baby bottles. Not knowing to heat it up first, he thrust the bottle into Harry's gaping mouth. The baby instantly rejected the cold milk and continued to howl.

"Dammit, kid! Are you broken or what?!" Sirius shouted in frustration.  
  


*~*  
  


"How do you suppose Harry and Sirius are managing?" Lily fretted, poking at her mashed potatoes.

Aracelis dropped her fork. "You left a /baby/ with /Sirius/?" she demanded incredulously. "Are you MAD?! I love him and all, but he can't tell the difference between a baby and a doll!"

Lily pointed an accusing finger at James. "It was his idea."

James smiled lazily. "Calm down, ladies," he drawled. "I'm sure they're doing just fine."  
  
*~*  
  
"Gimme that!"

"Eehehaha!"

"Give it, ya little brat!"

Sirius was trying to wrestle the keys from his motorcycle from Harry, who had thought they would make a wonderful plaything. After much yelling and struggling, Sirius wrenched his keys away from the delighted child. He scowled as baby slobber oozed off from them. Harry giggled and clapped his hands, clearly amused by his godfather's antics.

He glared at the Potter baby. "Be happy James is your dad. If you were my kid, I would smack you over the head. Consider yourself lucky." Sirius took the gurgling baby in his arms and carried him in the direction of the den. However, his hand was met by a certain dampness, and the reek of used diapers invaded Sirius's senses. 

Sirius dropped Harry a second time, but he at least tumbled onto the couch and bounced harmlessly up and down, tittering amusedly. The exhausted young man sank into an armchair by the fire and cradled his head in his hands. 

He rocked back and forth, moaning and griping about his life, while Harry slid off the couch and discovered a pot of Floo Powder.

Sirius looked up to see a green cloud billow up from the ground and slowly settle around him. He squinted through the clearing dust to find Harry dumping the Potters' Floo Powder onto the carpet.

"No!" Sirius exclaimed. "Lily will kill me!" Sirius snatched the container away, rescuing what remained of the Powder. He feverishly searched the cabinets for a bottle of Mrs. Skower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover and soon found one. The young man then painstakingly cleaned up the staining dust. 

Again, the diaper's revolting fragrance infiltrated Sirius's nose. Sirius moaned. "No, anything but that!" However, the smell continued to permeate the air. Swallowing his revulsion, Sirius picked Harry up and laid him on the kitchen counter. He reluctantly removed the diaper. Harry giggled at the sudden disgusted face his godfather was making. Thoroughly repulsed, Sirius folded the diaper up and dropped it in the trash can. "Stay right there," Sirius warned, and went upstairs for baby wipes and diapers.

While Sirius occupied himself with that, Harry sat up and discovered a shaker of salt sitting on the counter.

"Oooh," he cooed, picking it up clumsily. He promptly turned it about and shook its contents on the counter, giggling. Unfortunately, the enchanted shaker would constantly replenish itself, creating a mountain of salt on the counter. Soon, the salt no longer had any room on the pile and fell to the floor. Harry gurgled happily as the salt went everywhere.

Sirius came back down the stairs and nearly dropped the clean diapers and baby wipes when he surveyed the salty mess.

He shook his head, overcoming the initial shock. "Harry, you're so much like your father, it's scary. I'd congratulate you on efficiently and creatively making a mess, but Lily would have my head." Sirius whipped out his wand and cast a vanishing spell on the white mound, which promptly lifted up from the ground, swirling in a circle until it finally disappeared.

Harry clapped his hands with a broad grin. Sirius glared at him and pulled out the baby wipes. He painstakingly cleaned the child's privates and wrapped the new diaper around him. "Ugh. I don't ever want to do that again," he said, carrying Harry into the den. He set the child on the couch and sat himself on a nearby armchair.

Sirius glared at the baby, who had found his penguin toy and was busily waving it around. "Just...just stay there," he warned. Suddenly, the penguin's head popped off, causing Harry to instantaneously start howling.

"Calm down, you little brat!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up. He retrieved the severed head and popped it back onto the penguin's body. As Harry resumed his delighted giggling. Sirius, though, buried his head in his arms and grumbled about his life.

Unexpectedly, Harry yawned prodigiously. Sirius glanced up at the sound of this and a relieved smile spread across his face. "You're sleepy? Thank you, powers that be!" he exulted. Harry, however, had his own ideas, and voiced his opinion by twisting Sirius's hair as he bent to take the child up. 

Sirius got his hair away with the least pain possible and fell into an armchair, cradling Harry with his arms. "Nuh-uh. You are going to sleep, kid," Sirius declared. The baby cooed as Sirius's head drooped. "Come to think of it, I'm pretty pooped myself," he droned, and his eyelids became increasingly harder to lift. Minutes later, Sirius was snoring softly, Harry asleep in his lap.  
  
*~*

  
  


"We're home!" James yelled into the silent house. Lily was steps behind him.

"Shush!" Lily whispered. "They may already be sleeping. It's rather late."

"Good point," James murmured in return.

As the two rounded the corner, Lily caught sight of the dozing Harry and Sirius. She beckoned James to her, who had gone ahead. "James, come look at this!"

James joined her. "See? I told you Sirius could do it!" He grinned triumphantly.

Lily smiled. "So you did." She laid her head against her shoulder. "The house isn't a mess. Seems to me he did a good job."

"And you doubted me," James smirked. Lily gave him a good-natured glare. She gently removed her baby from Sirius's arms.

" 'Night, Sirius," Lily whispered.

"Thanks."  
  
*~*

  
  


Sirius was about to head out the door when his fireplace suddenly flared to life. He whipped around to find James's head floating there.

"Uh, Sirius? I need to ask you a favor..." James began, but Sirius had already vanished down the street.  
  


~*~  
  


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